


Have Yourself A Merry Parallelly Little Christmas

by enchantment



Series: Forever After Series [8]
Category: Doctor Who
Genre: F/M, Family, Gen, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-05
Updated: 2013-09-05
Packaged: 2017-12-25 17:58:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/956042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enchantment/pseuds/enchantment
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Christmas time at the Tyler mansion and Jack and Donna have been invited along with their family members. Thank goodness Christmas comes but once a year. **Eighth of the Forever After series**</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own anything in relation to Dr. Who.

"Well, Mum," chuckles Rose as she throws her arm around her mother's shoulder, "it looks like you have a full house tonight."

They watch Donna and Wilf, along with the Brig and Sarah Jane, help Jack and the Doctor set up the decorations. "Yeah," grins Jackie, "and with more on the way. Jack's parents are coming in from Scotland tonight."

"I can't wait to meet them. I wonder if they're anything like Jack," giggles Rose. She does a quick scan of the room for her little brother. "Where's Tony? I wouldn't think that he'd want to miss a minute of setting up the tree."

Jackie smiles and says, "He's outside playing with his new cricket bat." Rose's eyes widen in surprise and Jackie explains, "You know your father. He's like a big kid himself, especially when it comes to Christmas. He couldn't wait to give Tony what he's been asking for the past few months."

Rose shakes her head and teases, " Yeah, sure Mum. It's more like Dad got tired of Tony nagging him if he'd find his cricket bat under the tree."

While the Tyler women discuss their guests, the Tyler men are busy sneaking into the front hall. "Where should I put the bat, Dad?" asks Tony a little too loudly.

"Shhh!" hushes Pete. "We need to be quieter son, we're in stealth mode. Go ahead and put it in the back of the closet behind the coats."

Tony hastily accomplishes his task and pops back out of the hall closet. "Are we going to tell the Doctor what happened to his windshield?"

Pete contemplates his answer while gazing at his son's innocent and trusting face. He doesn't want to teach him to lie but…well, putting the truth off for a bit shouldn't hurt. After all, it's just one time. And from what he's heard about the Doctor's history with Christmas, there'll probably be an alien invasion to blame the damage on later.

Pete kneels down to look Tony straight in the eyes and assures, "We'll tell him later, son. Much, much later. We don't want to ruin his good time at the party, do we?"

"No," answers Tony emphatically, "I don't want to do that."

They enter the living room and immediately encounter the Doctor as he opens up another box of decorations. "Hey, Tony! So how did it go with the new cricket bat?"

Pete squeezes Tony's shoulder in silent reminder of their agreement and Tony answers in the most innocent voice that he can muster, "Smashing."

"Oh, good!" exclaims the Doctor as he ruffles Tony's hair affectionately. "So are you ready for a visit from Old St. Nick?"

Tony appears baffled and questions "Who?"

The Doctor's brow furrows in confusion and he repeats, "You know, St. Nick!" At Tony's continued look of bewilderment, he cheers, "Kris Kringle! Father Christmas!" Still seeing no trace of recognition on Tony's face, he tries once more. "Santa Claus?"

Rose joins them and announces, "Doctor, in this universe it's not St. Nick, it's St. Bob."

The Doctor quizzes St. Bob? You must be kidding me"

"No," insists Jack, "it's really St. Bob. Listen." The Doctor stares at Jack in utter amazement as he proceeds to sing about St. Bob."

"Old St. Bob does a jolly old job, does a jolly old job does he,

He's fit as a fiddle, he can solve any riddle, as he rides into town on his Shetland pony.

You'll see him drag, his magic bag, as he travels the world delivering toys,

With his pony and his dragon, hooked up to his wagon, he brings smiles to girls and boys.

So just look for the mob, surrounding the man with the gob,

You'll get so excited, that you'll think you've been knighted,

When it's Christmas morning, you'll be so delighted,

That's the magic of Old St. Bob! Yes, that's the magic of Old St. Bob!"

Ever a man of logic and reason, the Doctor asks, "Why does he need a dragon and a Shetland pony?"

Jack replies, "The dragon is to fly the wagon all over the world and he uses the pony when he rides into town to visit the children. Uncle Alastair used to tell me the story of old St. Bob all the time."

The Doctor grins widely and inquires, "Let me guess, this is where your love for Dungeons & Dragons started?"

Jack's face lights up as he confirms, "That's right! Very impressive, Doc!"

The Doctor's expression is smug before it morphs back into one of confusion. "How does a grown man sit on a Shetland pony?"

"He uses a saddle," replies Jack.

"I know that," hisses the Doctor.

"Then why did you ask?" quizzes Jack.

Reigning in his temper, the Doctor presses, "I mean, how does he fit on the pony? I'm assuming that he's a fully grown man and Shetlands are very, very small!"

Jack answers in complete seriousness, "He's magic."

Unsure if Jack is joking or not, he queries, "Jack, you do know that there's no such person as St. Bob, right? That in _reality,_ that he's just a myth?"

Jack merely takes a step back in response and glares at the Doctor as if he had just committed the ultimate act of betrayal. He takes a deep calming breath in an attempt to curb his anger which fails instantly. "Take that back!" he growls.

"I will not!" scoffs the Doctor. "He's not real, Jack!"

Jacks shouts, "Yes, he is!" and slaps the Doctor on the back of the head.

The Doctor rubs the side of his head as he yells back, "He's fake, like an impostor!" and then slaps Jack on the side of his head.

"Like your car!" retorts Jack and shoves his shoulder hard enough to push the Doctor backwards a few steps.

Eyes blazing, the Doctor snarls, "At least I won't find my next car gift wrapped under the tree!" and shoves Jack, who only teeters slightly before regaining his balance.

"What?" asks a befuddled Jack. "I don't know what that means."

The Doctor rolls his eyes in exasperation and explains slowly, "Like a toy car. As in the one you have now."

Jack gasps in indignation and moves in for the kill when Rose comes up between them and slaps both of them on the back of their heads. "Oi! Knock it off, you two! The only child that's supposed to be present is Tony and you're setting a bad example for him!"

Tony comes up alongside Rose and laughs, "I don't mind, Rose. They're funny!"

The Brig swaggers over to the group and chuckles filthily as he nears Rose. "I love a woman who can take care of a man with a firm hand."

In acknowledgement to the Brig's navy career, Rose proclaims, "Well, a woman has to become that way when she keeps meeting sailors that are only able to stay at half mast."

The Brig whoops in delight at her retort and steps a little closer. The Doctor, remembering their first meeting with the Brig, pulls Rose firmly to his side and advises, "May I suggest loving her from afar?" He then points to the farthest corner of the immense living room. "Perhaps over there?"

Sarah Jane strides over and crosses her arms across her chest while she demands, "Alright everyone, what's all the commotion about?"

Jack turns to his aunt, upset written all across his features. "The Doctor's ruining Christmas!"

"Wh-what?" sputters the Doctor. "I am not! I just find it incredibly difficult to believe that someone as 'magical' as St. Bob could actually exist!"

Both the Brig and Sarah Jane send a silent plea to the Doctor to stop this line of reasoning as they shake their heads and wave their hands in the air behind Jack's back.

Before anyone can attempt to break the tension, Jack walks right up into the Doctor's personal space and counters, "Oh, you mean like _aliens_ don't exist? Because we all know that they do."

Oblivious to how close he is to revealing the Doctor's secret, Jack mocks, "I bet even half human, half alien clones exist. Possibly, they're even working within our own governmental agencies. Don't you think so, _Doctor?_ "

Rose and the Doctor let out nervous giggles while Donna watches Sarah Jane very closely. She is aware that not only is Sarah Jane a journalist, but she's also famous for her wild conspiracy theories. And what better conspiracy is there when it comes to the government and aliens?

Fortunately, everyone is able to breathe a sigh of relief when Sarah Jane laughs and chides, "Oh, Jack! I've spouted some crazy theories in my time but that takes the cake! Let's try to keep things within the realm of possibility, shall we?"

She delivers both men a stern look and orders, "Now, I want you two to shake hands and make up. You shouldn't be fighting on Christmas Eve." Jack and the Doctor continue to stand there pouting and sulking until Sarah Jane urges, "Go on."

Never able to stay mad at each other for very long, Jack and the Doctor's fuming gazes soon change into chuckles of regret. Although the apologies are sincere, they are almost inaudible and it's the comments of 'berk' and 'pillock' that are more easily heard.

Once everyone is engrossed in decorating again, Pete sidles over to the Doctor and whispers, "Okay, Doctor. It's time for Tony's Christmas visitor."

The Doctor glances over at Rose playing with Tony and questions, "So soon?"

"Yes," asserts Pete firmly. "Tony is always so wired after dinner that Jacks wants him to arrive before we eat so he'll have plenty of time to settle down from all the excitement once the visit's over. It's going to be hard enough to get him to sleep tonight as it is."

Jack has unknotted his string of lights and walks over to the Doctor and Pete to see if they need any assistance. He arrives in time to hear Pete tell the Doctor, "I really appreciate this, Doctor, I want to him to enjoy the 'magic' for as long as he can."

Noticing Jack's approach, Pete states, "Jack, the Doctor's going to dress up as St. Bob for a quick Christmas Eve visit. Tony almost caught on it was me last year and I don't want to take that chance again. I put everything that you'll need in the den. Jack, can you help him out to make sure that he looks the part?"

"Sure thing, Mr. Tyler!" promises Jack enthusiastically. "I'm sure that the Doctor will make this Tony's best Christmas visit yet!"

Surprised at Jack's nonchalance over impersonating his beloved St. Bob, the Doctor asks, "You're okay with this?"

"Of course, Doc! It's a Christmas Eve tradition that a family member or friend dresses like St. Bob and visits the children." Jack's tone and faraway gaze recall memories long past as he shares, "For me, it was Uncle Alastair and tonight, the honor falls to you." The Doctor gives Jack a disbelieving smirk. "For Tony," urges Jack. "Don't worry, Doc. You'll be fantastic!"

As Pete tries to depart, the Doctor swiftly grabs his arms and intones in a voice that sound way too sweet, "Oh, and thanks so much for the heads up on St. Bob, Pete."

Pete flashes an evil grin. "No, thank you. I didn't know what to buy Jackie for Christmas but this worked out just perfectly."

_Jackie's Christmas present!_ huffs the Doctor to himself. _If anyone deserved coal more._

Rose returns just as Donna comes over to join them. Donna murmurs, "Well come on you two, let's go help St. Bob here get ready for his appearance."

The Doctor grimaces before muttering, "We can handle this on our own, Donna, thank you very much. We don't need to be babysat."

Donna's smirk says it all as she replies, "Apparently, you do. After your little Three Stooges display, Pete asked me if I'd make sure that the two of you behave so that you don't ruin Tony's Christmas."

The Doctor releases a grunt of frustration and complains, "Why does everybody keep saying that? I'm not going to ruin Christmas!"

Rose relates, "Wilf and the Brig offered to keep Tony entertained while we help get you get ready."

The Doctor laughs and inquires in a derisive tone, "Those two? They can barely take care of themselves when they're together." He turns to Rose. "Do you really want them tag teaming your brother?"

Rose chuckles, "He'll be fine. Look, he's already wrapped them around his little finger." She gestures to Tony sitting on the couch between Wilf and the Brig while Jackie and Pete are busy working on the decorations.

Tony listens avidly as the Brig begins reading 'The Tale of St. Bob and the Grouse'. Jack sighs fondly and mentions, "He used to read that to me all the time when I was a kid." The Brig's voice carries across the room so that everyone can hear him as he reads the story.

"It was Christmas Eve and a chill was in the air,

St. Bob searched out the Grouse, he knew he was somewhere,

He rode his pony through the mountains, deserts and plains,

Determined to foil the Grouse's plan to ruin Christmas and retreive his ill-gotten gains…"

The Brig's voice trails away as the four adults head down the hall leading to the den. "So, what?" cackles the Doctor. "Now St. Bob's a bounty hunter?"

Jack simply glowers at the Doctor while he remains silent. He doesn't need to read timelines like the Doctor can to know that his moment of revenge will come.

As soon as they enter the den and the door shuts behind them, the Doctor heads straight over to the box from the costume shop that is sitting on Pete's desk. He rips the lid off and peers inside, immediately questioning, "What is this? Rose, this is not Santa's costume!"

Rose tries not to laugh while she admits, "No, it's St. Bob's costume."

He pulls the costume out of the box and holds it up to the light in hopes that it will make it appear less hideous. It doesn't. The Doctor's eyes rove over a purple velvet jumpsuit with a matching hat and brown leather trench coat. However, it is the white cowboy boots with rhinestones that really pull it all together. The Doctor groans in dismay and whinges, "I'm going to look like a pimp."

Rose bites down on her lip to maintain her composure. She knows that one wrong word and the Doctor will immediately fall back to his old habits and run. Rose protests, "No, no, not at all. It's very eye catching." His eyebrow arches as he looks at her and she responds, "Seriously. Besides, you know how you love to be the center of attention."

To add insult to injury, Jack asks, "Didn't Janis Joplin have a coat like this?"

Donna scolds, "Oh, come on Spaceman! Do it for the kid. You don't want to ruin his Chri-"

The Doctor suddenly shouts, "Shut up!" as he points his finger at Donna and then repeats it twice more as he points at Jack and Rose for good measure. He stares at the hat in his hands and asks, "If this isn't a pimp hat then why is there a feather in it?"

Jack replies, "That's the plume that he uses to write up his naughty and nice list!"

The Doctor peers into the bottom of the box and asks incredulously, "And what in Rassilon's name is this?"

Donna smiles brightly, "That's his ginger handlebar moustache and goatee."

The Doctor's gaze shoots daggers at Rose who merely shrugs and reminds him, "Well, you always said that you've always wanted to be ginger."

Jack's voice forces him to focus on the task at hand. "Okay Doc, let's get you suited up!"

With a resigned sigh, the Doctor allows himself to be outfitted in _the most garish outfit ever_ that will bring the character of St. Bob to life for his favorite soon-to-be brother- in- law.

******Twenty Minutes Later******

Rose leans out the window to questions the Doctors' sanity. "I still don't understand why you have to come through the window."

The Doctor replies, "Because Rose, I'm going for authenticity here."

"Then why don't you climb up on the roof and come down the chimney?" inquires Jack.

"Really?" asks an astonished Doctor. "Out of all the Christmas traditions that aren't the same, that's the one that remains? Unlike me of course, in the instance that I fall to my death because I don't regenerate anymore or if I merely die of embarrassment from being seen in this outfit. Now, somebody call Tony so that he can see me climbing through the window."

Rose attempts to reason with him one last time. "You could just walk into the living room and surprise him, Doctor."

The Doctor refuses to entertain the very thought and insists, "No, this will be far more spectacular for him. I must make an entrance!"

One last worried glance thrown towards the Doctor leaves Rose with no choice but to comply. She walks over and opens the door and calls out down the hall, "Tony! I think I hear St. Bob in the den!"

The Doctor has to hop a few times before he can clear the window ledge and start hauling himself through the window. Halfway through he realizes that he can't move and yelps, "I'm stuck! Help pull me through!"

Donna grouses, "How can a skinny little streak of nothing like you be stuck? I wouldn't have thought that we even needed to open the window. We could've just slid you through the cracks in the sill."

The Doctor growls, "I'm caught on something outside, alright? Help me!"

Jack soothes, "Okay! Okay! Now quit struggling before you damage the suit!"

The Doctor looks up in annoyance and sneers, "Oh by all means, let's not damage the precious suit! Elton John might need to borrow it for his next tour!"

Rose and Jack are just starting to unhook his coat pocket from the outside of the window ledge when Tony bursts into the room with a huge grin plastered on his face. Unfortunately it falls as quickly as the Doctor's handlebar moustache and goatee fall off of his face during the struggle to make it through the window. Tony bursts into tears crying, "There's no St. Bob! It's just the Doctor! There's no St. Bob!"

Tony nearly knocks Jackie down as he races past her as she enters the room. She is completely mystified and questions, "What happened?" All eyes turn to the Doctor who is fighting to make it through the window on his own. She takes in the scene around her and realizes instantly what has caused Tony's distress.

Everyone backs away as Jackie marches over to the Doctor and knocks off his hat and pulls his head up by the hair. She shouts, "What'd you go and do that for? **SLAP!** You broke his heart! **SLAP!** "

"Ow! Ow! Stop it!" howls the Doctor.

Jackie spins on her heel and storms out of the room. Her screeches of, "Pete! Help me find Tony! The Doctor's just ruined Christmas!" continue to echo down the hall long after she has left.

The Doctor fists his hair in both hands while hollering, "Arrggghhhh! I am not ruining Christmas! Moments later, the Doctor's anger is spent and is replaced with defeat. He slumps across the windowsill like a deflated balloon and asks, "Will someone please get me out of here?"

Jack's gaze is full of sympathy and just a hint of mischief as he states, "Of course, Doc. Just give me one more second."

Suspicious, the Doctor's head flies up as he demands, "For what?"

**CLICK!**

Rose covers her mouth with her hand to try and smother her laughter while Donna simply lets out a loud guffaw. The Doctor squeaks, "Jack! What are you doing?"

"Easy, Doc!" crows Jack as he presses the buttons on his cell phone. "I'm just sending it out to my friends and family. We've been so busy at Torchwood lately that I haven't been able to go out and shop for the perfect Christmas card to send out to everyone." His grin is pure evil. "That is, until now."

The Doctor is somehow able to pout and glare at Jack at the same time. His attention is drawn towards Donna when she muses, "Look at him. With all the candy that he stuffed himself with earlier, he's like a big Gallifreyan piñata."

The Doctor goes still when Donna's gaze searches the room and she casually inquires, "Has anyone seen Tony's new cricket bat?"

The Doctor's eyes widen into the size of saucers as he reasons, "I'm only half Gallifreyan, Donna!"

"That's okay," taunts Donna. "I know which half that I'll be hitting."

Arms and legs start flailing around in blind panic as the Doctor wails, "Rose!"

As Jack and Rose quickly pull the Doctor through the window before Donna can make good on her threat, Pete pokes his head through the door and informs Jack that his parents have just arrived.

He looks over at the Doctor and gives him a true sympathetic smile and consoles, "Don't worry about Tony, Doctor. He's fine now. Apparently, the Brig had a St. Bob costume in the boot of his car all along. Tony's with him now." He turns to Jack and says, "I'd hurry if I were you, Jack. Your parents are very anxious to see you."

"Will do, Mr. Tyler," assures Jack. "Please tell them that I'll be right there."

Rose asks, "Your uncle keeps a St. Bob's costume in his car?"

"Yeah," replies Jack. "He used to wear it down at the shelter that I volunteered at when he came to visit. He would entertain the kids for hours. He's really good at it, Tony's really lucky to have him play St. Bob."

"Wait a minute," interrupts the Doctor. "If he's had that costume all of this time, then why am I stuck wearing this monstrosity?"

Jack responds, "Hey! I did offer up Uncle Alastair's services and he was more than willing to do it. It was Mrs. Tyler who insisted that you had to be the one to play the part. She said that it would be funnier that way."

Seeing that the Doctor has reached his breaking point, Donna pulls Jack towards the door and suggests, "Jack, why don't you introduce me to your parents?"

"Okay!" grins Jack. He grabs her hand and drags her through the door. "I told them all about you! They're going to love you!"

Once they're alone, the Doctor and Rose just stare at each other although Rose's stare is more intense. "What?" asks the Doctor in confusion.

Rose answers, "Oh, I was just thinking about when you wore the brown and blue suits and the tux."

The Doctor prods, "Yeah, what about them?"

Rose states, "I was thinking about how there wasn't a suit that you wore that didn't leave me feeling breathless." He looks very smug as she gives him the once over. "But now I think you've met your match."

The Doctor ruefully takes in his own appearance and opines, "You know, a match wouldn't be such a bad idea right now. Oh! And some lighter fluid too." He sighs. "Well, what can you expect? I'm afraid that jumpsuits were designed more for men like Elvis, astronauts and the Six Million Dollar Man. He shudders as he looks down at himself one last time. "Now help me get out of this fancy dress before Ziggy Stardust wants his costume back."

**To be continued…**


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Christmas time at the Tyler mansion and Jack and Donna have been invited along with their family members. Thank goodness Christmas comes but once a year. **Eighth of the Forever After series**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author'sNote: I have always loved Jamie and Zoe and thought they would have made an amazing couple. Despite their differences in culture and temperament, I still thought they clicked together perfectly. I have long wanted to write the two of them together as a couple but I just couldn't find the right story. This might not just be their story, but I was still thrilled to make it work.  
> For those who may not be familiar with the characters, Jamie's first episode was Highlanders and Zoe's was Wheel in Space. They both traveled with the Second Doctor and were forced to leave him when he was sent into exile. Bits of their history together will be addressed in this chapter but with my own parallel twist.  
> I don't know if everyone is familiar with Anacin, but it's an over the counter headache remedy in America.  
> Disclaimer: I do not own anything in relation to Dr. Who.

The Doctor and Rose enter the living room to see the Brig sitting with Tony on the far sofa deep in conversation. The Brig, dressed as St. Bob, informs Tony, "Aye, lad. It was a long trip and I'm very, very thirsty. Do you think you could find old St. Bob a beer?"

"Sure, St. Bob!" affirms Tony with childish glee. More than eager to assist his childhood idol, he promises, "I'll be right back!" before he zips off into the kitchen.

The Doctor spies the others gathered around the fireplace, their heads bent over photographs from a trip of some sorts. He assumes that the only two bent heads in the room that he doesn't recognize must be Jack's parents. Those two heads immediately pop up laughing about some remembered mishap and suddenly, they are no longer unrecognizable.

"Jamie," he whispers. "Zoe."

"You know them, Doctor?" asks Rose.

"Yes. I used to travel with their parallel counterparts when I was in my second body. I loved them that much that they were like my own children, I would have gladly allowed them to travel with me forever." At this point his voice turns bitter, "But the Timelords took them away from me and wiped their memories of our time together right before they forced my regeneration and exiled me to Earth." He takes a step back into the hallway and Rose follows him. "I don't think I can go in there, Rose."

Instantly sensing the reason behind the Doctor's distress, Rose rationalizes, "It doesn't have to be like it was the first time that you met Donna and Sarah Jane, Doctor. They might like you right off the bat."

The Doctor frets, "I loved them so much, Rose. We were family. I couldn't bear it if they looked at me with any sort of derision or mistrust. Maybe we should just leave before they see us."

Jack happens to choose that moment to look up from the pictures and see the two of them in the hallway. He calls out, "Hey, Doc, Rose! Come over and meet my parents!" Squeezing his hand tightly in a show of support, Rose leads the Doctor to the other side of the room for introductions.

He approaches them cautiously, more nervous than a young boy on his first date. He clears his throat and introduces himself, "Hello, I'm the Doctor."

Rose reaches out her hand and greets, "Hello, I'm Rose Tyler, the Doctor's fiancée. We've had the pleasure of both working with Jack and becoming his friends. We just love him to pieces." She glances quickly at the Doctor before adding, "He's just like family."

"Yes," agrees the Doctor. "Jack's the best friend that I've ever had." His eyes grow slightly moist as he gazes at the two of them and he has to gather himself a bit before he is able to continue. "The two of you…together…well, all I can say is that you've raised a fine son."

Jamie and Zoe both beam at hearing such praise for their son and Jack is heard to sniffle and mutter, "I think that a cinder just flew in my eye."

Jamie is the first to speak. "Well I'm so glad to hear that our son's made such excellent friends. We know he's a grown lad and all, but still, you know how parents are with their children, you can never let them go completely."

The Doctor blinks back the beginning of a few tears as he takes in how his Jamie and Zoe might have been if they had been able to stay with him and with a gravelly voice replies, "Don't I know it."

Rose inquires of Zoe, "Mrs. Harkness, if you don't mind my asking, Jack tells me that you were all raised in Scotland and yet in your family, only the Brig has a Scottish accent while Jack's is American and both yours and Sarah Jane's accents are British. Why is that?"

Zoe smiles and answers, "Well you see, my parents were both scientists and were needed to travel all over the world from time to time. Alastair being the oldest was raised in Scotland for most of his life and both Sarah Jane and I attended finishing schools in London from a young age so we picked up that accent instead of our own native one. With Jack, we had lived in New York for many years during his early development and that was the accent that stuck with him."

"If I may," the Doctor tentatively holds up a hand and asks hesitantly, "I was just wondering about your last name. Harkness doesn't sound very Scottish."

Both Jamie and Zoe dart uncomfortable looks at each other at the Doctor's inquiry. "I'm sorry," the Doctor immediately apologizes. "If I've overstepped my bounds, please don't feel that you need to answer."

After a moment's hesitation, Jamie states, "It's alright, lad. We've been asked that a few times over the years. Since you seem like the type of man we can trust," he glances over at Jack for assurance who nods right away, "I guess we can tell you the truth. We got into a spot of trouble shortly after we wed and we had to change our names."

"Trouble?" prompts Rose.

"Yes," states Zoe very firmly and with a pointed look at Jamie. "And that's pretty much all that really needs saying." Jack's entire family gives a curt nod in firm agreement and any further discussion on the subject is left to silent curiosity.

Desperate to retrieve the pleasant atmosphere that they had all been enjoying and noticing the Doctor's tension at his question causing the discomfort, Rose queries, "So how did you enjoy your ride from the airport?"

Jamie declares, "It was very interesting. That was the first time that we ever traveled from the airport by limousine. Now I know how Jonah must have felt when he was swallowed by that whale."

The Doctor lips begin to form a small grin and he asks, "By any chance, Mr. Harkness, do you own a very small car?"

Jamie answers proudly, "Aye, I do, lad. It's a Volkswagen, top of the line! Very compact, the smaller the better I always say! Isn't that right, son?"

Jack quickly nods his head in the affirmative and says, "That's right! It's like you always say Dad, 'There's no better fit than a tiny bit!'"

Momentarily forgetting his anxiety, the Doctor bluntly questions, "That's what you always say?"

Jamie nods wisely and Zoe chirps, "That's my Jamie! He has such a way with words."

The Doctor and Rose both smile widely and the Doctor proclaims, "Well, no need to worry with that one," as he indicates Jack, "he follows that advice to the letter!"

Jamie grins at his son and avows, "That's my boy! He's always been a good lad!"

Jack, who is sitting directly in front of the fire, fans himself and asks of no one in particular, "Is anybody else hot in here?"

Wilf offers, "I'll go get us some drinks, son." When Jack starts to protest, Wilf shakes his head and insists, "No, you stay here and visit with your family, Captain Jack. I know how much you've been looking forward to this visit. Now, what is everybody having?"

After taking everyone's order, Wilf goes over to Pete who is busy mixing his own drink. Wilf hastily relays everyone's requests to him but unfortunately, he's so preoccupied with the new hat that he bought to impress Sarah Jane; that he doesn't realize that Pete has misinterpreted Jack's request for Jacks, as in the nickname for his wife.

Pete silently laughs to himself thinking that Wilf must have misheard Jackie for he knows that Jacks would never ask for a club soda. He begins concocting her usual G & T and decides that since it's the holidays and she deserves to let loose, he'll add a bit more extra kick to it. She always appreciates that.

Meanwhile, Wilf is holding the red wooly cap with reindeer antlers firmly attached on top and ties a sprig of Mistletoe onto the tip of one antler in hopes of luring Sarah Jane into a Christmas kiss. Pete turns to hand him the platter full of drinks and asks, "What on Earth is that?"

Wilf tugs the hat onto his head and tilts it to a jaunty angle and smoothly replies, "The tools of my trade, son. I'm going bird hunting."

He walks back over to the others and hands out the drinks, saving Sarah Jane's for last. He leans his head closer in her direction and purrs in his most seductive tone, "Notice anything different about me?"

Sarah Jane, highly amused, at both his hat and his playfulness, flirts back, "Well, look at you, Tiger."

Out of the blue, the Brig appears behind Wilf and drags him away from his sister, while growling, "Shove off!"

Wilf is shocked at his best mate's behavior and questions, "What's wrong with you?"

The Brig snaps, "That's my little sister that you're trying to pull!" At Wilf's stare of indifference, "I'm not going to let her be bamboozled by some doddering old scallywag like you!"

Wilf is incredulous and cries, "Wait just a minute there!" His face lights up like a Christmas tree and his smile is reminiscent of that of a wolf on the prowl . "You think I have a chance with her?"

The Brig stares him down and grunts, "Sure, mate. When Hell freezes over."

Wilf smiles sweetly and quips, "Well take a good look outside, Brig, because it's snowing pretty hard."

Before the Brig can respond or at least threaten bodily harm, Tony returns from his trip to the kitchen and blurts, "Here you go, St. Bob! I brought you your beer!"

The Brig accepts it gratefully and downs half of it in one go. He sputters when the taste finally hits him and immediately looks down at the bottle. It reads 'Courtney's Concoctions Grade A Root Beer'. Tony is still gazing up at him so full of love and wonder that the Brig has no choice but to pat him on the head and tell him, "Thanks, lad."

The Doctor attempts a more casual conversation with Jaime. "So, you've known each other a long time, you and Zoe?"

Jaime answers, "Aye, we grew up together in a small town and we only moved shortly after the first doctor there died and his replacement moved in, and then he left as well."

Zoe adds, "Yes, he was the strangest man. He would act the clown one minute and a genius the next and he always wore the same suit all the time. He was finally arrested for some misbehavior and put on trial and we never saw him again. We decided then and there that we wanted a more stable environment for the children and with Jamie's profession, it left us free to travel."

Hoping that this will be another safe topic, the Doctor inquires, "What is your profession, Mr. Harkness?"

Jamie announces, "I'm a piper."

"Oh!" exclaims Rose with interest. "You play the bagpipes?"

"No," clarifies Jamie, "I make smoking pipes."

Zoe comments, "They're very popular. He hand carves them himself and even people who don't smoke have bought them as decorative pieces of art."

Jamie quizzes, 'Perhaps you've heard our jingle on the radio or television?" He clears his throat and croons, "You'll have no gripe, with a Highlanders pipe, you can trust what you've heard and embrace the hype! Highlanders, We're smoking!"

Zoe beams proudly as she boasts, "He thought it all up on his own, isn't he brilliant?"

The Doctor smiles in kind and thinks to himself, _I could add another line that ends with 'tripe' but I'm not going to do that. No, nope, no I will not._ Instead he notes, "You mentioned children before. I wasn't aware that Jack had any siblings."

"Why, yes he has a sister!" replies Zoe. "Jack, love, show the Doctor the pictures that we brought back from our vacation!"

"Sure thing, Mum!" Jack slurs slightly.

"Are you alright there, son?" asks Jamie in concern.

"I'm fine, Dad." Jack responds. "It's just awfully hot in here." He pulls out the photos and shows them to the Doctor. "This is my sister Jo, she lives in the Amazon with her husband, Cliff." A fond smile of recognition lights the Doctor's face when he sees Jack's sister, a perfect twin for his former companion, Jo Grant.

"Funny story about that but Jo's writing is so bad that when she first trekked out there, we thought the letter that she had sent us said that she fell off of a cliff. It turns out that it said that she fell for a Cliff. When we arrived all concerned for her safety, we rushed into her tent to find her in a very shocking position. At least that was Dad's take on it as he chased Cliff through the jungle. Mum saw it in a different way."

Several sets of confused eyes turn to Zoe, who readily admits, "Well,yes, I thought it was a shocking position as well but only because I never realized that Jo was so limber."

Jack grins, "Anyway, one jungle wedding and nine months later this precious little darling was born. She's tee-"

Jack's slurring has heavily increased and the Doctor is unable to make out the last word that he said. Alarmed, he asks, "Sorry, but did you just say that she's Tegan?"

Jack corrects, "No, not Tegan, I said that she's _teething_."

Zoe remarks, "From what Jo and Cliff told us and what we saw for ourselves, she still doesn't put up much of a fuss."

Jamie brags, "That's a McCrimmon for you!" When Zoe elbows him in the ribs and gives him a stern look, he clears his throat and croaks, "I mean to say that our little Nyssa's an absolute angel."

The Doctor inwardly smiles as he remembers Nyssa and imagines, _Yeah, she would be._

The Doctor is pulled from his memories of long ago when Tony tugs on his sleeve and asks, "Did you see my St. Bob book with the Grouse?"

The Doctor takes the book from Tony and flips through it, his eyebrows drawing together in consternation and he questions, "Why is the Grouse wearing a butler's uniform?"

Jack reaches over the Doctor and flips through a few pages until he finds the picture that he's searching for. "See this picture? That's how he sneaks into people's houses and steals their things."

The Doctor keeps staring at the picture as he asks disbelievingly, "The butler did it?" One side of his mouth quirks upward in amusement and he merely shakes his head and hands Tony his book back.

Rose quietly watches Jack's parents, Zoe with her head on Jamie's shoulder and his head resting on hers, obviously very content in their love. Her curiosity overriding her desire to not disturb them prompts Rose to softly inquire, "You two met when you were children?"

"Yes," replies Jamie. "Zoe's family moved near our farm in Emmerdale and our parents left us to play in the yard on the tire swing. I pushed her just a wee bit too hard and the rope caught on a branch and suspended her high above the ground. It was so high that it was like she was suspended on a wheel in space." Even after all these years, the gaze that he aims at his wife is still apologetic.

"Once she got down, he continues, "she yelled at me until I couldn't even bring myself to meet her gaze for fear that I'd catch on fire. That's when I knew right then and there that she was the lass for me." He pulls her closer into his side and declares, "I knew that I'd never meet another woman alive who could scare me like that." Jamie and Zoe gaze at each other lovingly while the others look on.

The Doctor sends to Rose, _I see that Jack picked up that particular trait from his dad as well._ Rose just catches his eye and nods in agreement.

A shriek from Jackie directs everyone's attention over to her and the Brig. Jackie's rubbing her bum as she screeches, "What the hell was that for?"

The Brig is the picture of innocence when he steadfastly replies, "You told me to let loose with a pinch."

Jackie spits, "I was telling you about Dr. Seuss and the Grinch!"

"I am sorry," the Brig smirks. "I must've misheard you."

Jackie says ever so politely and with the utmost concern, "It's quite understandable, love. It must be all that ringing in your ears."

The Brig looks perplexed and asks, "What ring-" **SLAP!** He stumbles backwards into Sarah Jane and Wilf who just manage to catch him by the arms before he falls to the ground. He grabs his still stinging cheek and gasps, "That…that…that was magnificent!" He points at Jackie and demands, "Slaps from the blonde! Five pounds rapid!"

Jackie's expression is a mixture of horror and fright and Pete hurries over to stand in front of her and intervene if necessary. Sarah Jane and Wilf drag the Brig over to an armchair and sit him down, Sarah Jane commanding, "Okay, that's enough from you, Alastair. You're cut off."

Her words barely register with him as he's still leering at Jackie who when she braves a glance at him, receives a wink in return. Sarah Jane turns to Wilf and begs, "Could I please trouble you to go to the kitchen and bring out some coffee for him?"

Wilf's antler ears bob eagerly as he solemnly vows, "Anything for you my dear Sarah Jane."

Jack is burning up by the fire and the unknown amount of alcohol that he's ingested isn't helping any. He stands up and starts to walk away from the fire when he suddenly loses his balance and stumbles into the Doctor.

The Doctor pushes Jack off of him and gripes, "What's wrong with you?" Then he gets a whiff of Jack's breath and whispers, "Are you drunk?"

Jack slurs, "Don't be ridiculous, you know that I never drink. I've only had a club soda."

Donna walks over and notes, "You look upset, Spaceman. Maybe you need to take some MiDonnal?" Satisfied with the Doctor's stunned expression, Donna goes in for the kill. "That's right, Dimbo. I know all about it. How about the next time you whip up another batch of MiDonnal, you also create some Manacin for all the headaches that you give me?"

The Doctor's mouth hangs open in astonishment and he squeaks, "What? How did you…?" He looks over at Rose who shakes her head vehemently and then his gaze falls onto Jack.

Before the Doctor can even verbalize an accusation, Jack drawls, "Sorry, my bad."

The Doctor hisses at Jack, "I told you that in the strictest confidence! We pinky swore and everything!" He makes a face of disgust. "I can't believe that you told her!"

Jack protests, "It's not my fault, Doc!" He leans closer to the Doctor and stage whispers, "She seduced me."

Both Rose and the Doctor can only stare at a stunned Donna while Jack keeps nodding his head in the affirmative. Finally, Donna is able to regain her ability to speak and swears, "I never touched him! He's out of his mind!" She grabs Jack by the collar and giving him a hard shake threatens, "You better tell them the truth right now!"

Rose pries Donna's hands off of Jack and takes hold of him by the shoulders. In her most gentle tone she requests, "Jack, we need you to tell us exactly what happened between you and Donna and please make sure that it's 100% accurate. Because," she chances a glance at an upset Doctor and a furious Donna, "your very life may well depend on it."

A bleary eyed Jack looks at Rose and simply states, "Donna had the hiccups."

Torn between befuddlement and frustration, Rose prods, "Okay, so what?"

Jack stares at Rose patiently waiting for her to come to the conclusion on her own. When she merely stares back at him, he finally relents, "Think about it, Rose. She had to _hold her breath_ to get rid of them."

Donna immediately crosses her arms as more than one indiscreet glance makes its way towards her more than ample bosom. Jack meanwhile is smiling proudly at his reasoning as Rose nods her head curtly and releases him before turning away to snicker.

Donna glares at Rose and whacks her arm when she passes her while the Doctor takes a deep breath and clucks his tongue as he stares up at the ceiling. Everyone's attention is instantly brought straight back to Jack as he confesses loud enough for all the room to hear, "See? I can keep a secret. She still doesn't know that I blew up her car, does she?"

The entire room goes silent, deadly silent in Donna's case. Unable to manage more than a whisper, she asks, "You blew up my car?"

**To be concluded…**


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Christmas time at the Tyler mansion and Jack and Donna have been invited along with their family members. Thank goodness Christmas comes but once a year. **Eighth of the Forever After series**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author'sNote: For those of you who have not read it, Jack told the Doctor that he was the one responsible for blowing up Donna's car on her first day at Torchwood in Blast To The Past Chapter 5. I hope that you all have the happiest of holidays this season, however you may choose to celebrate them. :)

Jack gasps in shocks and breathes, "What? How did you find out?" He looks around the room accusingly and demands, "Who told her?"

Donna continues to shake her head slowly as if trying to wake up from a dream while muttering, "You blew up my car…"

Jamie moans, "Aw, son, why'd you have to go and do that for? Now we're going to have to change our names again."

Completely nonplussed by the situation, Zoe suggests, "How about Herriot this time?"

Jamie gives her a shrewd look and grumbles, "You and your obsession with All Creatures Great and Small! It's because of that Tristan fellow isn't it? You've always fancied him!" pouts Jamie with a trace of jealousy.

"Well…" blushes Zoe.

Donna manages to finally snap out her stupor and with a temper fiery enough to match her hair screams, "You idiot! Do you have any idea how much I loved that car? How I scrimped and saved my way through university so that I could buy it? Not to mention all the memories attached to it from all the road trips that Gramps and I took together! How could you be so stu-"

Whether it was the alcohol or being the object of Donna's rage, Jack couldn't take it anymore. He had never seen her so angry that she scared him to death and not in a bad way. In Jack's mind it was the kind of death where you died and would pop right back up again for more. Her bellows and rants were music to his ears. The buildup of his passion begged for release and he couldn't hold back any longer. This was it. This was his moment, their moment. So he kissed her. With every ounce of love, passion and fear that he held for her, he kissed her with all his heart until the only reason that either of them pulled away was for some much needed air.

"Wow," whispers Jack dreamily, "That was…wow…" He opens his eyes and gazing at her, he sighs, "I'm sorry about that but you were just so absolutely breathtakingly terrifying that I just couldn't resist."

Donna slowly opens her eyes and breathes deeply before laying her hand tenderly against his cheek. She smiles sweetly as she murmurs, "You know what? I don't think that I can resist either." **SLAP!** "Ipswich! You blew up my car!"

"Ouch!" remarks the Brig to Jaime. "Are you sure it's Christmas Eve and not Boxing Day?"

Donna raves non-stop at a drunken Jack who is just barely managing to stay upright. The remaining occupants of the room had gathered around the couple but were slowly backing away to give them privacy and of course for their own safety.

Wilf shakes his head sadly and empathizes, _Poor Captain Jack. She's going to eat him alive. I'll miss him. Ah, well, must get that coffee for Sarah Jane._ With a spring in his step born of worshipful adoration, he hurries off to the kitchen for his beloved Sarah Jane.

Never one caring to be around when it's Volcano Day, the Doctor starts tugging Rose away from Donna and Jack. She asks, "Where are we going?"

The Doctor replies, "In search of the First Aid kit. Let's hope that Jack's not a bleeder."

Zoe has wandered away with her sister and mentions, "Sarah Jane, you never did tell me about your story coming out in tomorrow's paper."

Sarah Jane claims, "Oh, it is brilliant! One of my best! It's an expose on St. Bob! It's called Man or Myth? Well, obviously the answer is myth. He must only be a mere man if he can only pull his act together one day of the year."

Zoe laughs and states, "True." She looks over at her son still being berated by the love of his life and sighs, "It's a pity that we'll have to hide it from Jack though."

Sarah Jane sighs as well and while shaking her head in both fondness and amusement, chuckles, "Yes, I know."

The Brig and Jamie watch Jack and Donna for a bit leaving Jamie to muse aloud, "Aw, young love. It's grand isn't it, Brig?"

"Yeah," concurs the Brig. "But do you know what's just as good?" He lowers his voice. "The billionaire's booze. I've heard he's got a wine cellar and a storage unit full of cognac."

"Really?" queries Jamie with considerable interest.

"Yup," assures the Brig, popping the p. "Why don't you and I go out on a little scouting expedition like we used to when we were kids? You can grab some bottles of wine for you and the missus and I'll be in charge of the unit."

Jamie says, "Deal!" He sees Zoe and Sarah Jane deep in conversation on the other side of the room and advises, "We better hurry before we're missed. Now listen to me Brig, when I say 'run', run." He takes one more peek around the room to make sure that the coast is clear before he urges, "Run!"

On their way out of the living room, the Doctor becomes distracted when he notices two presents addressed to him under the Christmas tree. He drags Rose over to the tree when he sees that both cards are in Rose's handwriting. He turns to her and asks inquisitively, "Why is one present addressed to John and the other addressed to Doctor?"

Rose's reply is heartfelt yet simple. "Because they're not just one or the other Doctor, they're both you. The Doctor and John Smith are one and the same and they're both the man that I love."

The Doctor cradles her jaw and rubs the softest of circles along her cheek as he gazes at her with his entire heart in his eyes. Very quietly, he murmurs, "Rose…"

"Yes, Doctor?" Rose responds breathily.

"May I open one now?" He bounces up and down excitedly. "Oh, please, may I? Just one present? No more than that, I promise! Please?"

Rose huffs in amusement and pointing to one agrees, "Yes, you may open that one."

"Oh, I'm so excited, I can hardly stand it!" he declares. "I wonder what it could be…" He swiftly opens the box and reaches inside, his eyes misting over as he pulls out the object with the utmost reverence. The Doctor stares at it complete silence until he quietly marvels, "Oh, my…Rose, is this real?"

Rose whispers, "Yes, Doctor, it's real."

He starts to babble, "I…I…I never thought this would be possible. I mean, I always thought about this, but I never thought…I mean I was going to look into the possibility but…"

Rose hushes him by laying two fingers gently over his mouth and murmurs, "I know that you're basically still my Doctor but with some of the changes that you've went through, I wasn't sure if you'd be happy…"

This time, it is the Doctor who shushes her. He kisses her fingertips before gently pulling them away from his mouth and assuring her, "Happy? No, I'm not happy at all, Rose Tyler. I am ecstatic! I love this and I'll love for you for the rest of my days for this precious gift! For our forever, however long that may last and whatever comes after that!"

Filled with relief at his response, Rose embraces him tightly with no plans to let go anytime soon. The Doctor, of the same mind, holds her just as tightly to him and is about to pull away only far enough to kiss her when they are interrupted by Tony.

Peeking over the Doctor's shoulder, he interrogates, "What's that? Is it something that I can play with?"

The Doctor quickly places the item back in the box and he and Rose both answer in unison, "No!"

"Fine!" Tony huffs before departing to find his parents.

Tony finds his Mum and Dad gazing at the Nativity scene and he picks up the figure of baby Jesus and stares at it in deep contemplation. He looks up at his parents and asks, "Mum? Dad?"

Pete smiles down at the boy and inquires, "Yes, son?"

Tony poses, "Where do babies come from?"

Jackie and Pete both stammer, "Ermmm…Well…."

Tony presses, "And what is Marmalade body paint?"

The Doctor and Rose cringe when they overhear Tony's question and at the matching glares that Pete and Jackie shoot in their direction. They hurriedly move away from the tree and into to the entranceway and watch everyone from afar.

Rose mumbles apologetically, "I'm sorry, Doctor. It's not exactly what I envisioned for our first Christmas together. I take it that it's another Parallel disaster?"

The Doctor rapidly disagrees, "No, not really, although I will admit that this night may have just changed everything for me."

"Really?" asks Rose in astonishment.

The Doctor rocks back on his heels exclaiming, "Oh, yes! I used to dream about the Time War, but now I think I'll have nightmares about this night instead."

Rose laughs and swats his arm while chastising, "Doctor!"

The Doctor merely grins back cheekily at her and snatches Wilf's hat off of his head as he passes him on the way to meet Sarah Jane. He dangles the mistletoe over Rose's head and whispers, "Happy Christmas, Rose Tyler."

"Merry Christmas, Doctor," returns Rose. And the rest of the room fades quietly away into the background leaving just the two of them to each other, just as it should be.

**THE END**

**Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!**


End file.
